Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Am I the Thing I Hate the Most?

I've gone to this pub a few times, I don't need to look at the menu.  

Something grilled, something fried, and a bit of banter with the waiter.  He's BMX by way of a poetry reading and we probably exchange fifty words with him the entire hour but we cover everything important.  "Yes please" to an ice cold drink and "No cheese on that" in a tone that said I like you but don't you dare fuck this up.

I'm confident in restaurants.  In fact I'm confident everywhere.  I have a big smile and I know all the right things to say.

Well...at least in English I do.

But somewhere between the first bite and calculating the tip I realized that today may be one of the last times I walk into a restaurant and don't have to struggle to talk to a waiter.

I felt the icy grip of Ugly American-itis taking over my brain.  Ugly Americans are right up there with Planned Parenthood protesters and tourists on the DC Metro on my list of Things the Velociraptors Should Have Eaten Instead of  Robert Muldoon.

And I'm a bit concerned that I'm about to become one.  Because, you see, I don't habla any español and that is (apparently) very, very bad when you're three months away from moving to Spain.  Or something. 

It's not like I haven't had this problem before.  I've been to Spain a few times and I was fine with just English.  Everyone was so lovely and accommodating as I butchered their beautiful language and demanded that they understand my frantic hand gestures (who the hell doesn't understand that drawing circles with your finger means "What time do we have to check out of our room tomorrow?").

It's amazing the role language plays in who you are.  I wouldn't be me without my English, without my ability to argue, to voice my opinions, to express happiness and sorrow and anger with my words.  And I know the second I step off the plane I'm going to lose all of that.  I won't be me anymore.  I'll be yet another American walking the city in a bubble, hearing this huge world around me and not understanding any of it.

Another ugly American using her hands to express what her voice cannot.

So to Madrid: I'm sorry.  I'm working on it.  Be patient with me.

5 comments:

  1. Great first post! I guess we will both be bashing our way through Spain...Remember: Just laugh. Laugh to keep from crying. Laugh so hysterically that they are too busy being afraid of you to worry about your lackluster language skills. LOL

    www.bretanaenespana.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm...counter the lack of language skills with an extra dose of crazy. I like this plan. ;)

      Delete
  2. Great post :) It shows that expressing yourself well in English is important to you, and you are good at it. I also hate the ugly American - I have tried to hide the fact I am American abroad for so long for that reason. I think I need to come to terms with the country I come from and the stereotypes, good and bad. And like Brittany said...laugh a lot. Laugh even when they say offensive things about us or our country or the way we speak. Qué va a ser?

    ReplyDelete
  3. You are not alone in this struggle, I'm terrified and excited by this prospect of throwing myself in a world of a new language. And seriously though, who doesn't get the air circles=what time is checkout? You should've seen me asking for directions in Barcelona, pure foolery, lol

    ReplyDelete
  4. Has this been going ok for you. I met a lot Europeans traveling herein South America who bash on Americans on good hour long rants saying things I have never actually seen in America or traveling, usually finishing with how ignorant and rude we are (funny after an hour long rant) and around the time they were getting stoned to hell. But, there were also a lot of people who had no problems with Americans or agree we don't get out much because we cannot schedule wise frequently (if you have full time job). I have also met so many South Americans who think Americans are the cause of all their problems who do absolutely nothing productive with their time and do not have their kids go to school and when you do not want to buy their over priced junk they call you all sorts of dirty American words. Like you are obligated to buy it. There are also very nice warm people here too. We need more not ugly Americans to come out of the closet while traveling to show the world we are in fact not like characters on TV, not all rich, and not all people who use their women and support the drug business (well maybe that is just here).

    ReplyDelete