The email I got this morning didn't help in banishing that thought--a name and address for a windowless brick building surrounded by dusty fields and construction sites in an area I'm not sure I'd ever venture into in my entire life if it weren't for the fact that I have to work there for the next year.
But the school's website made it sound nice--so much emphasis on music, the promise of a neighborhood full of young families, everything so new and clean. By afternoon I'd become somewhat fond of the place--even the location seemed improved after I'd given myself a few hours to get used to the idea.
I even found a video someone had made of the place (and somewhat recently at that). I pressed play and was just about to excitedly call someone over to watch it with me when I realized--well. See for yourself.
Is there a word that combines "heartbroken" with "guilty?" That's the word I need right now. I managed a whole three hours of feeling happy about my work placement before seeing that. Part of me is holding out hope that it's improved in the last two years and the other part of me is feeling guilty for feeling disappointed. Have I become spoiled by the schools I went to? None of my schools were anything particularly special--a rural high school and a collection of various elementary schools run by the Department of Defense. Do I have a right to even feel disappointment about this? It's enough that I'm being allowed to come to Spain--what right do I have to judge the state of a school in a less-than-stellar part of town?
Still...I'd have liked to have held on to that feeling of a year full of potential and happiness just a little longer than I was able to.
